Not to imply I’m hanging up the gloves, but It seems I’ve hit a wall. For the first time since becoming involved with the MKE, I didn’t write a blog last week. I’m forcing myself to write one now.
I have no inspiration to guide me — maybe I’ve said all I can. I’m feeling disinclined to spend the 4 or 5 hours it can take me to write even 300 words. I find myself distracted by, and drawn to, other considerations in my life.
Most of all, I find Haanel to be so deep, how can I completely understand it, let alone do justice by writing about it? That hit me hard in Lesson 17. How much of my ideal focuses on the symbols rather than the reality? Am I focused on effects or causes? Am I identified with my ideal to the point that I am conscious of nothing else? Is my desire digging its way from the conscious to the subconscious? Am I growing — at all?
Sometimes — no, a lot of the time, I wish I could sit down with Chuck and ask him to explain things to me.